03:18 22/07/2010, frantic

and nineteen years old suddenly,
but i won't ever let it show,
until i turn twenty, brave:
enough love to fill a canyon,
but i can't divulge details -
enough love. enough anguish.
too much to fall apart,
too young to fall in love -
instead, obsession, the
wide gates opening always,
since ten years old and
perpetually collapsing,
gasping, and, well soldier,
if the heavens ever do receive me
i will turn to the Lord and
i will say,
"darling, what's the use?"
i will turn to the Lord and
i will say,
"who walks on water,
if i build you a motorboat?"
i will turn to the Lord and
i will say,
"never cry, because
the world sings for us -
the freaks, faggots, vandals,
this is ours - this patch of time -
this song in the depths of a night -
these are our hours,
these are our ghosts,
this is the omen
and here are my hands,
shrieking to you, O Lord,
to give us acceptance -"

and gasping, restless,
we toss and turn,
bizarre creatures,
fragile, courageous,
and hungry for a future.